I wish the Holy Spirit would come into this apartment and just wreck it. Not “wreck it” like when I wreck it and spend two weeks trying to clean it all up again. Miley Cyrus need not get excited. No, I want the Holy Spirit to tear through this place like I tear through Big Macs.
I’ve seen a bunch of people slain in the Spirit. Whatever that means… And it looked more like I’d stumbled into Epileptics Anonymous than a church service. Men running around the aisle, and pastors knocking the snot out of wretches like me. They fall down in the floor… You ever wonder, what if we’re doing brain damage? They aren’t drunk in any spirit, your pastor just knocked ’em stupid. That can’t be healthy.
I’m not saying it’s all fake. I’m just saying, I don’t know… There’s only been two occasions where I saw someone go out and I KNEW they were out. One of them was pushing eighty when she started seizing. She couldn’t do that on her own. It usually took her two tries just to get up on the curb outside. The other guy was more for God’s amusement, after the pastor said, “The Holy Spirit is a perfect gentleman,” and the guy took out an entire acoustic drum set on his way to the floor. The pastor never preached that crap again.
Why the nonsense? Because it’s two in the morning. I’m homesick. Not homesick for Birdsville or Knoxville or Earth Fare… Not even Forerunner tonight. It’s more of a longing for 1101C Main Street, in a far away college town called Murray, where God found me (which is stupid to say, because He knew where I was the whole time and was just waiting for the right moment to jump out and yell surprise). It was going on two AM there that night too, but nothing and no one else mattered but God. It was just me and Him that night. And it was well with my soul. Whatever happened to that?
If this is you right now too, then take a number. It seems like everyone is having this issue lately. It’s easy to run into this problem when the world gets noisy, and anyone living in the real world right now is distracted. Look around…
I have spent the better part of a year beating the hell out of myself, for not doing more, for not BEING more. I guess you could word it to say, I’m mad that I’ve allowed myself to be so distracted. And any normal person by now would have just walked away. No, think about it. Most people approach Jesus the same way they approach Jenny Craig, and it’s over by lunch. People aren’t in love, they aren’t excited, and they walk away. I’m gonna be really candid here, and just say that God is not a one-night stand.
“Jessie, that’s sacrilegious!” No, it’s not. It’s just not pretty to hear. But it’s the truth. I spent at least a year or two of my teen years with Jesus once in a while. I guess getting saved felt so good, I wanted it again and again. So I always found my way back to the cross long enough to get a cheap thrill, and then I was back to life as normal. If my saying this is uncomfortable or making you cringe, imagine being treated that way. Some of you have been and know what I’m talking about. But God gets it every day, a million times a day, from the children He loved enough to give up His Son for.
But here’s the thing, and I hope this brings you comfort. If we’re in the same boat, and you’re just longing for that fire, that passion that burned in you the first time you really fell in love with your Lord, I have good news. What He’s telling me tonight, and what He wants you all to know too, is that you aren’t the only one longing. He’s longing, too. But He can’t do anymore than He’s already done, and it’s up to you. His arms are open. How about yours?
And if you think you’re too far gone, that you just ran too far away, I still have good news. The fact alone that you are worried about your relationship with God, that is proof that His passion for you never burned out, and He’s calling your heart. This IS Him calling your heart. And if you stumbled across this page on accident, guess what. Yeah, He’s calling you, too.
The thing is, if He’s on your mind today, then the love is still there. Or are you just afraid of hell? Hey, God can work with that, too. But the point is, you haven’t completely shut the door because you know you need Him. The Holy Spirit has been called a mighty, rushing wind. No, He’s not causing seizures. He’s setting fires, whether you just need a fresh breeze over some dying embers, or your fire pit is cold and wet. He is in the business of igniting, and reigniting, passion.