Rubber Snake

God has been telling me something lately that I’m supposed to do. But with the growing pains I’ve suffered lately, and the blows to my heart, I doubted. What will people think? What if I fall on my face? Will I succeed? What if God says to go and people say I’m not ready?

Did your parents ever pull a prank on you when you were a kid to teach you a lesson? God just pulled an epic prank on me. But this was no rubber snake.

We had just left an awesome worship service. It was so spirit-filled, and we all had an amazing time. So on the way home, I’m feeling pretty good. I got my spiritual car filled up to make it through the week, and I was on my way. I had the radio playing, and I was singing and praying.

I dropped my lighter down between my feet in the floor board. When I went to grab it, my eyes saw and knew what was in the floorboard between my feet. My brain was trying to process it and couldn’t handle it. It only knew something was not right. Something was there that shouldn’t be. About two seconds later, I go into an abyss of panic. Between my feet is a long, fat copperhead snake.

I have never seen a bigger snake that wasn’t in a glass at the zoo. But to me, it could’ve been the size of a worm. I didn’t care. I don’t like snakes. Leda jokes that she can kill one with her bare hands. Leda was nowhere in sight to save me. Nobody was. And I was on a stretch of road close to home that was nothing but country, so there was no help to be found anywhere.

I had to make a plan, and fast. I knew just pulling off the road wasn’t an option. There was nowhere to go but the ditches. I had to keep calm. If you see a snake in your yard or your house, you have room to scream and run away. When you’re in your car, and driving it, you panic and wreck. I wasn’t going to wreck my car. I was afraid to move my foot to the brake, anyway. So I decided I would drive the long, agonizing, horrifying mile home, use my emergency brake, and then run like hell.

I’ve heard people talk about being baptized in the Spirit as something they’ve never experienced, but so want to. I was baptized in the Spirit three or four times before I made it to the driveway. When there’s a snake by your feet, you start speaking in tongues. You cling to Jesus. You say his name over and over again. If you aren’t a Christian, you become one very quickly.

I managed to get home without killing myself or getting bitten. I threw on my emergency brake, then slowly opened the door. Every time it flicked its tongue, my heart skipped a beat. I opened the door as far as it would go for a clean getaway. I eased one leg slowly out, paused, and went to move the next one. That’s when the snake lunged at my foot. Not to bite me. He was just moving closer. And ten miles is too close to be to a snake, so two inches from my bare toe was unbearable. Yes, to make all this worse, I was wearing flip-flops. If he decided to bite, no shoe was going to get in his way. His little jump was enough to send me off the edge, and I floored it out of there. My neighbors called animal control to tell them a gazelle was loose in my yard.

After I regained myself, I had to deal with another problem. The snake was still in my car. I’m not prepared to deal with this. I found Gabriel’s shovel, and hoped a four-foot handle was long enough to keep the snake away from my hands. I crept back up to the car and it was still stretched out. But now it was moving entirely too much. His environment had changed, and he was probably as freaked out as I was. His problem was that I was the only one with a shovel. I got ready. I wasn’t going to try to save this venomous thing and let it loose in my yard, or risk being bitten in a rescue. Sorry, PETA. I took the shovel, pinned him down, and with the tip of the shovel, cut off his head. When it was still flicking its tongue, I was convinced I had a demon-possessed snake in my car. So I waited in turmoil for it to stop slithering and flicking. I finally got up enough courage to scoop both parts of his body up and threw them far into some nearby weeds.

While I was doing my oh-crap-a-snake dance again, I heard God laughing. Yes, He was LAUGHING at me. I got ticked. “What’s so funny?!”

He kept chuckling. Then He said, “Did you think I was going to let a snake get you? After all I’ve brought you through? Daughter, trust me. And trust me FULLY!”

So, there you have it. My Father played an awful, awful prank on me just to teach me how to trust Him in my fears. There’s even a scripture that says, “You will pick up the serpents, and the serpents will not harm you.” God brought that verse to a whole new level. But He used this to show me just how faithful He is, and how just to aid is in our fears. When stepping over the ledge seems frightening, God is just saying step on over. I’ve got you, kid!

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